'Zoot Rules!'
To
help English speakers learn Dutch, Calidocious Inc.™ proposes simplifying the rules for Dutch spelling and pronouns. The nickname for this modified style of writing and speaking Dutch is "California Dutch©' or 'Zoot'. Two slight changes are needed to turn Dutch into Zoot. They are:
1. Phonetic spelling adjustment. The symbol "ø" is introduced to account for the sound of "uh" in Dutch words like "if". This changes the spelling for the word "if" from "of" to "øf". (The regular sound of 'o', as in the Dutch word "open", continues to be spelled with "o".) The long "o" of "zoo" (old Dutch spelling for the English word "so"), is also written with an "ø". Thus, the letter "ø" represents two different sounds depending on whether it appears at the beginning or end of a word. 2. Simplification of Pronouns. In Dutch, pronouns change depending on whether they are stressed or unstressed. For example, the word for "You" is usually "Jij" before the verb, and usually "je" after the verb- but not always. Calidocious Inc.™ proposes to make "Zoot" pronouns simpler and more consistent by giving them static, or fixed, values following the verb. The weak forms of Direct Object pronouns are dropped altogether.
English Before the Verb After the Verb I Ik 'k or ek (Note: Ik before the verb is capitalized.) We Wij ons (A word borrowed from Afrikaans.) You (s) informal Jij jè (Similar to Dutch, except it is pronounced "bed", not "but".) You (pl) informal Jullie gij (From old Dutch, and still used for 'you Sing.' in Flanders.) You (s&pl) formal U U He Hij hij or 'ie She Zij zie They Zij zie
Additional pronouns include:
English Reflexive Object Possessive I mij mij mijn We oons oons oons/onze You (s) Infomal jou jou jouw You (p) Informal dich dich dijn, dijne You (s&p) Formal zich U Uw He zich hem zijn Her zich haar haar They zich hen hun
As in Dutch, pronouns ending "-ij" and can be condensed in conversation to "-e" (pronounced 'wuh') to increase speed. Also, the 'missing' 't's of old Dutch words such as heeltemaal and eigentlijk are reinserted. (They still exist in Afrikaans.)
To complete the "Californication" of Dutch, ie. make it more simple, relaxed, and playful, Zoot employs "Standard High Flemish" pronunciation. "Standard High Flemish" is the style of pronunciation used by commentators on Flemish TV. 'Standard High Flemish' and Zoot can both be described as Dutch spoken with a French accent. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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New Amsterdam Theater- Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious |
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